the story of creation

After the human race was made extinct by global warming, God created a new race of humans. In this new utopia, God spent six days creating the natural world, its oceans made of recycled, polluted water, drained and multiplied from the beautiful San Francisco bay, its temperature modeled after the Sahara, God had to make his new race of specially-temperature resistant humans, crafted from the earth, like the first time he created humans, and also from the lava of a volcano and a little remainder of Jessica Alba's body. The heat created from these new humans was incredible, for God had blended all that was hot in the old world to create a super-human who could survive in the new one. God began by creating two humans. A hotmale and a hotfemale. These people could not only survive the heat, but were remarkably hot-headed, a product of their orgins. These new humans were told, do not cool off in the icy-cold pool of ice left by rapper "diddy," but one day became so hot, that the ghost of diddy's icy presence coaxed them into a dip in the icy pool. God then became angry and banished them from the world of global warming to live forever in exile.