Because the people were not doing as God wished, God called his one and only faithful disciple at the time, Moses, to take the long elevator trek up to the top of the Mall of America, where God would file share the new commandments onto Moses' iphone. Moses was gone for quite along time so the people below were quite idle, sitting in absolute silence. When the elevator light lit up and Moses returned, he recited the new laws and they went a little something like this...
1.Money is your one and only god
2. Remember Friday nights (party) and keep them holy
3. Devoutly watch American Idol
4. Suck your parents dry of all their money and use them for all they are worth
5. When angered, profanity and swearing are the best way to let off some steam
6. Piracy is not stealing; it is sharing
7. Stab thy colleague in the back to get ahead
8. In order to get on Law and Order: SVU, you must commit a horrendous crime
9. Lying and deceit are the best way to get ahead in life
10.One or more love affairs is preferrable
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